The Official Launch Of . . .

Featuring the Ultimate Prime Time Line-Up!

6:00 - 7:30
Contrablog NewsHour with Hal Johnson & Joanne McLeod
Keep fit and have fun . . . and stay informed with Contrablog NewsHour, hosted by Hal and Joanne, always fresh and always in spandex. The second half of NewsHour features an Indepth Special Report.

Tonight's special report: A look into the connection between Martha Stewart's release from prison and Kim Jong Il's nuclear missle tests. The controversial story of global intrigue that was first broken by Jordan over at PseudoBlog hits prime time.

7:30 - 8:00
The Impeccables
An adult oriented animated series from the creators of the children's feature film, The Incredibles, about a family of perfect superhero birds that protect the Bird Kingdom whilst undergoing such everyday family tribulations as Baby Bird teething, Mama Bird walking in on Junior Bird beating the bird, and deciding which car is the cleanest and best to shit on.

8:00 - 9:00
Sweaty Naked Fat Men
A violent sitcom about a fat, small town Swiss man who builds custom saunas and has ties with the mob. Tonight, the explosive pilot episode: Yuri Turns Up the Heat. Yuri discovers his son's ambition to join the county police force. Meanwhile, Uncle Georjj is back from the homeland and is looking for family members to dismember.

9:00 - 11:00
Napoleon Dynamite Redux (Extended and Uncut)
Napoleon like you've never seen him before! Completely redone using enough coarse language and sexual innuendo than every Kevin Smith movie combined. Great ready for a new level of Napoleon quotes you'll be saying to your friends for weeks.
Parental discretion is advised: crude language, cannibalism, full frontal nudity, drug and alcohol abuse involving young children, scenes of a teen with big hair, and a scene of brutal violence involving a llama and a Mexican immigrant.

11:00 - Midnight
Ride My Pimp!
Reality television hits the mean streets as we follow the lives of a group of prostitutes and their pimp, Fat PJ. Tonight's episode: Fatty P welcomes a newcomer into the group, Venus runs into an unexpected somebody in the Red Light District and Latifa finds out she was born with a penis and visits a sex transplant clinic for answers. Meanwhile, the local homeless shelter closes down resulting in some irregular traffic at the whore house.