Be young. Have fun.

So we got kind of bored today so we bought some guns so we could shoot people. So we went around shooting librarians, ex-girlfriends and old people for these reasons:

1. I've never met a librarian I liked. I come to the library to learn, to read, to research, to exponentially increase my social capital, and all they do is give me suspicious looks, ask me to finish my coffee outside, and look through my bag even when I've already walked through the sensor and it has not gone off. Every librarian I have come across has been anal, obnoxious, rude, angry and ugly. I've never seen a hot librarian.

2. I've never had an ex-girlfriend I liked. They are all crazy bitches with psychotic disorders. Which makes you wonder why I went out with them in the first place. Anyway, it doesn't matter. We shot them all.

3. As for old people . . . I don't really have so much against old people. Except that they're old, deteriorating and pissed off and causing serious setbacks to our medicare system. All the old people we shot today was a favour to society. We saved the government a lot of money on hospital bills and pension plans.

So we stacked the bodies up in the back my friend's pickup truck and went to the park so we could dump them in a pile and cover them with snow so that they would look like a snowpile so that in spring when the snow melts then somebody will find the pile of bodies and will be able to say,

"Thank the Lord, somebody shot all these librarians, ex-girlfriends and old people. What a nice person."

So then I will become the mayor of my city and then I will do this more often and my city will be the best goddamn city ever because it will have no librarians, ex-girlfriends or old people and we will all live happily in an anarchist commune called High Kildonan. So then George Bush will come to my city and he'll be all old but he'll still be greedy and we'll find oil beneath my city and we'll build a pipeline together and it will be fun because there'll be no librarians, ex-girlfriends or old people. And then I will shoot George Bush because he is an old person. And I will shoot his wife because she is an old person and she is a librarian so I will shoot her twice for being twice as evil. So then I will become old and the people in my city will shoot me because I'm old, but not because I'm a librarian, I would never be a librarian, and not because I'm an ex-girlfriend, cause I could never get a boyfriend because I'm not cool enough.